I have been studying meditation and attended your talk on The Spirit of the Heart, which emphasized the importance of seeing your life through your heart.
What do you recommend for dealing with a person who is not being compassionate?
Thanks so much ME this is an excellent question and very relevant for our turbulent times.
The first recommendation is to pay attention to what you are feeling when you are with someone who is not being compassionate, or who is being unkind and inconsiderate.
There is valuable information in your experience of these interactions. How we feel and the often erroneous beliefs we develop about who we are when we are treated poorly is important to understand. So if for example someone stops talking to us or judges you, it is common to believe that we are not loveable or not good enough or not of value as a person.
We can then take an experience of being “rejected” or judged and come to see the truth of who we are even in the face of judgement or ignorance.
These experiences can also trigger experiences of having been judged or having been the recipient of a parent, teacher, or peer’s pain or negativity. If the experience triggers pain it is an opportunity to heal pain you may be holding from the past and can allow you to know and center in who you truly are – and not on the negative false beliefs that you may have been subscribing to.
Additionally, we recommend cultivating compassion in the face of uncompassionate acts.
The Buddha was known for saying that compassion grows in response to suffering. So all painful interactions and experiences really give us this opportunity to develop that unlimited aspect of ourselves that is deeply loving and compassionate. From a compassionate heart we develop the wisdom to understand more deeply another person’s plight.
As you feel compassion it generates a whole field of compassionate energy and that field carries and radiate the love and wisdom inherent in compassion. Imagine if you are in pain and are then embraced with compassion – an unconditional radiance of love that simply holds you in that light. That field has the power and wisdom to transform everything back to it’s essential nature of love and kindness.
Thanks! love, MD